I was even more boring today. After dinner I fell asleep while watching dodgers. Game was a snoozefest but I was super exhausted.

The week is going by fast though. And one of my favorite things I learned in college (and grad school) is that the weekend starts on Thursday night. See you at mcmurphy’s after my antebellum literature seminar. Decades ago. We wore cheap shoes and never got tired.

i FaceTimed my mom. We say “I love you” before we hang up now. It’s a relatively new thing. People change; she tells me my dog is cute all the time now.

I’m still wading through the river of change. Physically for sure. Emotionally I’m good. Personality too. Financially… i’m rich just not in dollars. The river is calm where I’m at.

Grateful for my family, being accepted, nice shoes, healthy foods, invitations, quiet nights, morning texts, my limbs, and the sandwich I’m going to make tomorrow.

1:20 am.

not sure what to write about. That usually means I’m unwilling to share what’s really going on in my life for whatever reason, But not so tonight. I worked a long day and didn’t do much else, so the truth is I’m just boring. Did I even talk to anybody besides work people and my adorable pets?

i miss my mom and can’t wait to FaceTime her tomorrow.

grateful for good work stuff, cash back rewards, frozen foods party, max muncy, aer disc, all my bananas, and sweet dreams that come true.

1:39 am.

Nothing major to report. Just working a lot. So much that I forgot that I was going to try to be a better boss and a good leader. Not sure if good leaders are supposed to be shrugging everything off…

tonight I watched ugly betty, exercised, and did my nails. Some are jagged.

I’ve Been on a diet for about 3 weeks now. I lose a pound then gain two back by drinking lots of beer. tryin’ not to weigh three digits no mo’. Remember when Paul wall was obese.

grateful for Emma lovewell, Tito’s, grocery delivery, canned beets, no-meeting fridays, Potential broccolini, true friends.

2:17 am.

I just spent 80 minutes trying to finalize my Whole Foods and Bristol farms grocery carts. I bought cheese, you guys. Real, dairy cheese. A lot of decision making was necessary.

this is a short work week but it feels so long. The workload is heavy too. I need a proper vacay. Where we going. The truth is I’m traumatized by vacation planning, booking, and the idea of traveling. We canceled so many trips, most weren’t refunded. I’m even more traumatized by trip insurance. But I’m going. Away!

grateful for Cabot creamery, drew at the whistle stop bar, Niko the dog, my work team, my body, midnight snack, naps, and never felt lonely.

1:43 am.

What a beautiful night. Long-time friends connected by long-time friends. With a little bit of hot biceps, laughtears, penicillin, and reminiscence in the mix. I had great experiences. Thanks to skateboarding.

grateful for gerbildine, courthouse, price club, rtd (483, 76, 181), stale fish, sugar skateboards, sugar daddies.

2:04 am.

9 months since Eddie’s passing. The good times feel like they happened forever ago. One winter night we got lost in Toronto. That was one of my favorite nights because we had a nice dinner, took public transit, walked a lot, and threw snowballz. He took a picture of me holding a wad of snow—not a cute photo—and used it as his iPhone wallpaper for years. Feels like ages ago.

His mom says that nobody will ever love me as much as he did. Seems mean, but she’s just proud. And maybe at one point I may have agreed—the loss Is real. The love was tremendous. But that doesn’t concern me. Because He showed me how to do it. Spoiler alert—love isn’t about me—it’ll be you: nobody will ever love you as much as I will.

🤯

grateful for the flower shop clerk, flowbee for dogs, extendo weekend, visit from my neighbor, dietary supplements, the way you make me feel.

1:24 am.