Author: streetmadonna

Went for drinks with my bestie neighbor. I’ve been working a bunch so it felt good to chat and catch up. And to be told that I deserve to relax a little bit. No one-upping or “well I’m…” this life is so healthy and pure. the weather changed. It feels cold. My inner nostril skin…

a busy work week. Long hours. Lots of deliverables. Short-staffed. It is all fine—I’d choose this. my cousin from Houston came to visit. We didn’t go to Disneyland—we just went a few blocks from my apartment to all the fun spots that I’m lucky enough to experience all the time. Happiest place on earth. The…

hard to believe it’s already September. I haven’t been very productive this year. The studio is still filled with eddie’s audio gear. I never sent out the remaining thank you cards. I got too fat, too drunk, too sad, and too happy. Doesn’t it feel like I just renewed my lease? It’s already time for…

I felt so exhausted after work. I knocked out; i had some dreams. I went to my mom’s house where she fed me a lot of food and then placed eggs, organic berries, and four cartons of milk in a pile on the floor (this wasn’t a dream, it really happened). grateful for cute dogs,…

I have been on vacation. I went to palm sprangs, la la land, heaven, and now I’m back. yesterday we honored eddie’s one-year memorial. I was feeling fine though I know emotions can turn on a dime. I learned It can’t be predicted whether i’ll cry all messy or be okay. Turns out it wasn’t…

Had drinks and a wonderful catch-up with an old friend. I’ve always admired her sexy sense of independence. Think samantha from sex and the city but all the good aspects. She’s brilliant and beautiful, so is anyone good enough for her? We just want each other to be happy. one time a different girl friend…

Another great day even though I was tired. Good work, good dinner, good nap, good company, good workout. All gốôđ! grateful for penicillin, Positive people, good hair, we, flowers, wine pairings, night life, self-confidence, Chinatown, sleeping under the stars, Cambodians, no commercials, how far I’ve come, easy street, honesty, authenticity, golden kindness. 1:25 am.

A great day and night. Work was chill and then watched devil wears Prada in bed. Imagine tons of popcorn, ice cream sundaes, candy, and champagne. the plan was to try to sleep early tonight, but changed my mind. Imagine that too. grateful for quiet time, neighbor visits, raspberries, snooze button, online shopping, my mom,…

I’m proud of myself because even though I’m old and tired and have to wake up early for a corporate job, I go out and do fun stuff all the time. Tonight the bestie neighbor treated me to a delicious dinner (still milking the birthday celebrations). Her gold hoop earring fell out of her ear…

I’ve been lost in my world. It feels like my feet haven’t touched the ground in days. Sorry I haven’t returned your calls or texts. I forgot how things work. Does that sound bad or good? It’s been very good. I mean gốôđ. Grateful for my cousin from Texas, joyhogging, heavy cues, all my mayorships,…

A nice hot and sunny day. had lunch with sunhye at the K spot. What a beautiful and talented person. She made me the cutest ceramics. Some people are good at everything. She can do it all—science, art, Tetris, bouldering, cooking, pottery! But Me…well, I can drink espresso from the adorable little mug she handcrafted….

my favorite part of the night. Teeth are brushed and I’m already in bed. There is no goal to sleep early. The night is young until it gets vacuumed up. Today I made a whole bunch of plans. lunch plans, weekend plans, family plans, travel plans, executive plans, plan plans. they don’t scare me anymore….

Cj treated me to dinner tonight at the fave sushi spot. Yoey was there and we had the oyster with the little black fish eggs. I told her she had better get used to eating caviar. the apartment above hers is available to rent. Pros: close to cj, more affordable, large space, nice neighbors, top…

It’s that time of year again when I think about moving/changing apartments. But I know I probably won’t be going anywhere Any time soon—Current place is expensive but worth it. And the birds still need me. OR I NEED THEM. Nothing major to report. I’ve been eating good, sleeping so-so, and funnin’ mucho. I almost…

It’s been eleven months since Eddie’s passing, which means I’ve already made it through all but one of the tough firsts. First Christmas. First therapy party. First birthday. Without him. Next month will be the first anniversary (do people call it deathiversary?). Thinking about it actually makes my heart feel full. I am so lucky…

I have had minimal contact with the outer physical world the past two days. That usually means my apartment’s a mess, my dog feels cooped up, and my dinners are sad. And everything’s fine! grateful for my loud dishwasher, my work team, not drinking, gel nails, ft, work from home, smoked salmon + avocado, Lancôme,…

I just might be done celebrating my birthday now. Jimmy, Steph, and tony were in town, which means I got to enjoy a special dinner with my dearest loved ones. I picked a really good spot this time (pez); The chef made me a custom risotto and It was delicious. Afterwards, more cake, presents, flowers,…

More birthday love today! My bestie neighbor came over with a strawberry cake candles ablaze. We shared a bottle of prosecco and life updates. I received tight hugs and more beautiful gifts. When it rains it pours. Also, today it felt like eddie was calling me from the heavens. My phone rang and the caller…

Birthday adventure complete. I went on a big group trip to Reno/Lake Tahoe. It was bea’s 50th, and I always just piggyback my birthday celebration on to her’s. She does all the planning and inviting—it’s great. We did a lot of fun stuff like happy hour on a boat, amazing dinners, poolside chillin’, and extreme…

I felt very emotional and thought about eddie a lot today. And this past week. Maybe It’s the time of year—almost one year since his passing; almost my birthday—but this grief business is no joke so there is always more to it. I’ve been feeling things that I didn’t feel before…like the anger stage of…