I had that feeling again where i was so gratefully in love with the city that i live in. It was cold and windy, and i was dressed warm in wool like i had traveled all the way to Taos, but i was so close to my apartment. Sipped drinks and looked at rad art with beautiful friends in a gorgeous building downtown. It usually doesn’t get much better than that, but for me it did. Don’t want to brag or nothin’, but love and light shined on me into the night right around the time the moon moved into the shadow of our precious world.

grateful for friends and friends of best friends, open bar, cool jackets, burner phones, manic panic, and all you kind souls.

3:41 am. It’s late and I want to be alert.

Thinking about the time in college when i hitched a long ride with a total stranger deep into central California to see propagandhi play. He had an extra ticket. The show was in the middle of a field. They played a medley. It was a bizarre night and i Never talked to that person again. He wasn’t a student at my school. years later, I purchased a death cab for cutie cd off eBay. the seller included a handwritten note that said, “yo yo yo if this is the same jenny k from propagandhi, mad props yo. If not, sorry for the weird message.” truly an awesome, little world we live in.

You have no idea how many emails, messages, and notes I’ve concluded with, “if not, sorry for the weird message” since then. see I did gain a few useful things from college.

grateful for my non-tiger mom who used to say c’s get degrees, mad props for nothing crack, hormonal fat mode, girls-only group chats, invitations, hummingbirds, and texts that say “r u ok?”

12:48 am.

The neighbor upstairs texted asking if she could hammer a nail into the wall. At 9:30 pm. Love that she asked. We texted a bunch of hearts back and forth. Her’s purple. Mine were the teal ones. Love and kindness always wins. Still have never seen her before. I will invite her and her boyfriend to the tavern for drinks and dumplings sometime soon.

Tonight i drank a vanilla stoli + Diet Coke. Throwback to many, many years ago. Next stop Irish car bombs.

grateful for la living, dog lovers, ill communication, high standards, pisces people, and all the things I consume one way or another. especially the fishes.

1:13 am.

Daylight saving time. Saw the sun come up this morning so i won’t be petty about losing an hour of sleep. Even though I just did. But yes, sunnier happy hours are in order.

saw an actual portal today. A gorgeous ray of sun glittering with the particles of us. Daniel went through it! Never saw that version of him again.

Grateful for nights in Pasadena, expert espresso, being held, being sleepy, sore muscles, Gatorade, and tableside guacamole.

12:44 am.

happy Saturday! I slept in this morning and now I’m two nespressos deep and feeling pretty great.

Last night Saelee and Sylvia treated me to an amazing dinner and afterwards there was some really good and inspiring talk. I can’t believe it but I have girl friends now. And I’m not the weird one in the group.

2:53 pm.

it’s late. But I’m trying to be consistent with my writing here. Trying to follow through because once that’s gone, it’s done.

I was so tired today. Could barely keep my eyes open while editing the car t-cell manuscript. Then a spontaneous dinner + drinks hang. That woke me right up.

Someone said that I seem “empty.” That was a short while ago, but only if they could see me now. So full. Soooo full. Of what I can’t say!

3:19 am.