i had a really good weekend. Not perfect, but close enough. I did pretty good in terms of busy vs blank calendar, socializing vs aloneness, and greens vs junk food. But these everyday battles weren’t as successful: work vs rest (I worked a bunch of hours on Sunday), booze vs water (i drank a lot of beer and vodka), and exercise vs couch potato (i haven’t worked out in days). Also cute vs catfish…it was a no makeup + ponytail + sweats kinda day. But we still tippin’ on 4 4’s.

Grateful for lots of good friends, making new friends, overnight blowout rods, dawn dish soap laundry hacks, able bodies, lobster Benedict, and being on your mind (always?).

1:44 am.

It’s been a long week. And it ain’t over yet. Been staying busy with work. Been eating a lot of green stuff. Been watching baseball. Been shopping a bunch. Been leaving stuff around.

grateful for Friday, fun plans, my coworkers, funny dogs, retainers, and rich friends.

2:04 am.

I’m tired and I have a sink full of dirty dishes. I injured my lower back somehow and couldn’t manage to do much today. I took 4 Advils. Thinking of all the times eddie swallowed a small bowl full of 8 Advils + an oxy + a morphine + his muscle relaxants. He endured so much pain. Never complained. He was an ox.

grateful for big pharma (sorry, but they got the pillz to pay my billz), startup show login, the skewer truck, family kakaotalks, milk caps, full disclosure, Sylvia, Dylan, and momo.

11:51 pm.

May 13. It’s a good day to throw 13 things away. nobody likes clutter yet there It is. Time to shut the brain off.

mondays aren’t bad. I can be home alone now. Not completely alone. I am here with my fat.

Besides work people, you’re the only person I talked to today.

my new favorite after dinner treat is pepto bismol.

grateful for bicycle crunches, lactose-free cream cheese, chopak dumpings, what the ex taught, Nike phoenix fleece, bloody nose clots.

1:51 am.

A fine Mother’s Day. I looked back on my camera roll because I couldn’t remember what eddie and i did for our moms last year. The photos made me sad; be a crocodile, don’t look back.

This year I spent time with only my mom. during dinner she kept telling me to have a baby. I told her I’d think about it. I guess She forgot how old I am.

do all moms wish their babies could stay babies forever? The good moms Certainly do.

grateful for the best mom, your sweet mom, bouquets, every day this past month, hot weather, best friends, healing, remembering, and having so many swirls of love— everywhere.

1:07 am.

a mellow evening. To myself. I mostly did nothing. I exercised and watched ugly Betty. Is that show meant to make you cry? Ate cereal for dinner. Laundry. Returned a phone call—only let it ring twice lest they answered.

Nothing major to report. I am doing well. I am going to watch spring baking championship.

12:00 am.