i might be getting better at communicating. I had a conversation that I was dreadinG, but I spoke from a place of honesty and respect. People say communication is key and seems that the key to good communication is sincerity, love, and pure intentions. At least it was in this situation. I walked away feeling loved, supported, relieved, and lifted. Might be a different story when communicating with other people like coworkers or customer support—Sometimes the key is simply dumbing it down, repeating yourself, and pounding your fist.

grateful for another wonderful weekend, all the moms in my life, hearing the words “I understand how you feel”, ube coconut, manhattan clam chowder, dumpster sake, a bag of baked potatoes, hiromi, deadline extensions, 8000 steps, date night on the couch, good talks.

2:22 am.

Eddie’s been sending messages. The 11:11 neon turning on by itself. Same with bea’s lamp. Then Lenny and taz’s tv did the same—straight to the sea turtle screensaver. He visited me in my dream last night. I forgot what happened but he was at the door and I touched his belly. I think he’s trying to tell me something, but I can’t read it and maybe that frustrates him. If something’s been bothering me, would it have to do with that? Do dead people know stuff and try to help us? Is it not even about me? Should I ask ai?

I came home tonight after being away. I missed my coffeemakers.

grateful for Friday, muncy, foot massages, chocolate chimp cookies, my apartment, walking pad, paletas, big meetings, not sleeping, feeling warm, trusting my gut.

2:59 am.

It feels early to me because i went out tonight but didn’t stay out late. Went to shujana’s comedy show for some good laughs and drinks. The jokes were good, but my favorite part was when a group of girls at the other end of the bar raised their glasses, “to shujana!” She’s friends with everyone. Even the Indian cashier at 7-11 knows and loves her. We have good people.

grateful for friends of friends, harry the dog, Guinness, cranberry walnut bread, Friday, broasted broccoli, “broasted”, quiet time, push-ups, j pelc, good neighbors, cherry tomatoes, my limbs, no injuries.

12:09 am.

Tonight at the restaurant, the server smiled and waved as my mom and I were walking up. We had not seen her in over a year. She’s kind of a special person—she isn’t korean but speaks korean to my mom, she memorizes our orders, and works multiple jobs because she’s a hustler. She emits warmth. And is cute. A part of me wanted to inform her of Eddie’s passing, but I didn’t want us to feel sad. Eddie really liked her and that place.

grateful for Irene, surf and turf, my mom, sweet potato, doc Charles, Thursday is the new Friday since 1996, my job, Special people, hot tea, cream puffs, macarons, saving the life of a horsefly, too many little things.

12:54 am.

I have an 8am meeting so I’ll write quick, finish shopping prime deals, watch tv, and close my eyes.

i miss my mom and I’m happy I’ll see her tomorrow. Do you miss your mom if you don’t see her or talk to her much for a few weeks? Today someone answered no.

i think my dog likes me a little more these days. She’s lying so close to me right now. They say it can take years for them to trust you (sometimes they never do). They teach us a lot. like Greek yogurt is good.

this is what I bought on prime deals: this and this and this.

grateful for affiliate links, cuddly pup, pridos, hump day, good naps, little Tokyo lunches, j&j team, collages, toro jordans, amazon discounts, Carlie, busy work life, fixing things, laughing in my sleep.

1:09 am.

It doesn’t feel right that i have to pack all the fun things into the weekend. But I do a pretty good job. Very patriotic of me.

I was tired today—I’ve been tired a lot lately. I need a vacation, a foot massage, some alcohol-free days, and a family dinner.

And I shall have them.

grateful for fun and safe times, family, k bars, brownie bars, fern and flor, thrashard, Velma, Mr t’s bowl, no Sunday scaries, emotional support, this blog is art, Waymo, tiki drinks, to-do lists, all the things I shall have.

11:42 pm.