happy October. People get sad or weird this time of year. Maybe lonely. Nostalgic. Home sick. Holidays. Don’t let them turkeys drag you down.

grateful for dogtown, Clio awards, Thursday, forever stamps, iced mochas, simplehuman, sleeping, bling, babe ruthless, the Mona Lisa.

12:57 am.

Funnin’ is hard work. So exhausted from weekend warrioring. I stayed in pajamas all day, skipped exercise, skipped drinks and comedy night, ate zucchini bread in bed, and binged next gen chef. My eyelids felt heavy all day, but now that It’s 1am, I feel alive. tannis anyone?

grateful for bloody Mary’s, basketball, Mario kart, blue moon, Izakayas, meditation, bunker hill, chicken livers, family in Houston, family in Toronto, Niko’s tuxedo, being lazy, no meetings, learning from mistakes, greens, lotto winnings, safe travels, sweet people.

1:14 am.

I was tired today and my head was hurting. Take Tylenol.

today i heard a piece of news about someone i work with and the only person who would’ve cared to hear it was eddie. There are days when I talk to his photograph, but never about office gossip.

i watched a lot of tv. If i had the energy to dig in my messy closet to look for my climbing shoes and the patience to log in to sign the online registration form and the actual strength to climb—I would have. Oh, but only if I could get my ring off.

Grateful for the thought, cherry key caps, Netflix, vegetables, you’re welcome, fine dining, beautiful people, chia seeds, true colors.

12:13 am.

Grateful for where i am, berries, guys who hustle, the Freddy Krueger hotline, ouai wave spray, Cecilia, 2 afds in a row, high protein, my job, my arms, LinkedIn, incoming love.

1:05 am.

We celebrated Eddie’s birthday this past weekend. It was a perfect night—fried chicken, tequila, cake, street fighter, best friends. A bunch of people texted me and it made my heart hurt a lot.

Grief is very complex. It has a thousand voices. If you ask, “what are you most sad about?” All the voices speak at once so you can’t hear the answer or do anything to help yourself. But that is a stupid question to ask anyway.

Grateful for all my friends, a gentleman, having the most photo rays on my face, guile, little joy bartenders, lord Beasley, receiving gifts on your birthday, busy work life, being held, bracelets, kids in my apartment, holding hair, what someone said about you, ai dogs, 4am.

1:22 am.

Grateful for quiet nights, long naps, core fitness dumbbells, amazon fresh, beets, my mom, hours of tv, you all everybody 🎶.

1:45 am.