marches on

merry Christmas. 1:08 am. We made it.

i’m at my mom’s house. As soon as I arrived she made me blueberry pancakes and eggs. My brother is here too.

On Christmas Eve, we lounged, drank wine, listened to alternative Christmas songs, and then had an amazing dinner. My mom cooked a roast and roasted beets. I told her the Mac and cheese tasted like it came out of a box (a compliment because i love that stuff), and we all agreed that it tasted like “real” Mac and cheese. She seemed sad but then relieved when i said this was the most food I’ve eaten in five months. It was a delicious time. Family is key.

Four months since Eddie’s passing. If I didn’t know the date I would have no idea how long it’s been. I just know I miss him a lot and I still shake my head when I think about all this.

we usually open presents and take photos after our Christmas Eve dinner. This year we did not. But Maybe tomorrow.

In other news, i called a friend “babe” on the phone and it felt completely natural. I never say babe. But now all my female friends might be babe.

hope you’re having a big fat Christmas stuffed full of love.