Author: streetmadonna

not much to report tonight. I’m still tired and work has been super busy. I worked late while sipping wine so I didn’t mind so much. Later on, I stepped out for a cocktail. I cut the night short to help my bestie neighbor move a large box containing furniture. Happy to help—I have a…

I was pretty tired today. And when I’m tired I’m not as careful as I usually am. I forgot to turn off the stove. My rice scoop melted into the pan and the apartment filled with smoke and the smell of burnt plastic. Strangely, the smoke detectors didn’t go off. Wonder who replaced those batteries……

Six months since Eddie’s passing. we have come a long way. I used to call the unpredictable emotional days “bad” days, but I’m not going to call them that anymore. I realized that moments of having a spontaneous cry or taking a ride on a wave of sadness are when I’m most connected to eddie….

people ask what the hardest part about dating after losing eddie has been. the hardest part is that i’m not myself. I’m evolving, i’m a mess. shouldn’t even be up in this business. grief makes me selfish and reckless (we all grieve differently). i’m a bad version of myself and now i’ve been given this…

big news is that i rode my skateboard for the first time in a million years. People say it’s like riding a bike. It is not. I cruised around the outskirts of my neighborhood where the crackheads emerge and i felt off balance or that people were watching me (nobody was watching). overall, it was…

nightbirde’s new album dropped today. We listened to it on loop while we sipped our mango carts and loved the night. Like most people, eddie and I discovered her on agt. Jane passed away three years ago and I cried and felt the pain of those who loved her. This was before i even knew…

another wonderful day. friend invited me over for dinner. We ate fishwife on toast, her signature salad, and drank wine and fernet. The Fred jerbis one. This time I did not throw up on the sidewalk while waiting for a taxi. The child, who is almost five, called my hair “scary red” but was nice…

Eyelids are heavy. Today was such a wonderful day. But I will keep the details to myself. Grateful for laughing on work calls, the good bag of smackles, handwritten cards, ultra-rare downtown la hangs, my car, and all my money. 1:04 am.

I am tired and I need to wake up early for work. I wanted to write a post about dating because I’m doing it and people get surprised and have questions. But i didn’t know where to start. Ask me anything. Though The answers will most likely be: yescutelaughingno ideadrinksfew weeksconnectionno kidsBeige flagAsianglocknunya 2:10 am.

In my world, every day is Valentine’s Day. If you’re talkin’ Big Love, sweet words, good food, nice wine, phat jewels, red roses, fun gifts, dark chocolate—it’s all here. Everyday. My world is superb; I was loved truly. (Still am.) So I know how to do it. Welcome to my world. Look at all the…

so much can change in so little time. Checked my camera roll to see where I was and what was happening around this time last year. Eddie and I had just gotten the new, ultralight wheelchair. And we went to Catalina. We never really traveled or took trips together, so it was a big deal….

today was a day of good neighbors. Sunny’s mom stopped by after the community event for some wine and chit chat. Sent her home all nice and buzzy. later on, a different neighbor stopped by for Chit chat and laughs. Sent her home with some buzz too. I talked about the feeling of being free…

i felt pretty lousy today with all the coughing. Lungz is toasts. Canceled all my work meetings and dinner plans. I did some light cardio on the pelo bike to get some blood pumping through the system. a country music ride for the first time. Of course Chris Stapleton. It was nice and I felt…

happy Sunday night. My current status is that I’m recovering from a lower respiratory tract infection, overdosing on a certain grape-flavored cough syrup, late night slumber parties, sad news from siblings, and caffeine withdrawal. I’m so exhausted I can’t write more. 9:42 pm.

this is what I get for acting all bad in my doggles and thinking that I’m crushing the grief game. I had one of the hardest days in a long time. many tears. What happened to me. a message came through from eddie. The delivery was loud and clear (i heard his voice), but the…

people ask how I’m doing all the time. Usually it’s the older people who are most pleasantly surprised to hear that I am doing great. Because They wouldn’t be able to hang, take the shots, see the sun come up. Wouldn’t want to be in my shoes. We never felt our age. And I still…

I wrote a blog post for tonight, but I deleted it because it wasn’t about love. It was about hate! Basically, a few years ago, I found out that my one enemy died. And my immediate response was, “bitches get stitches.” But now I retract that. And I’m grateful for whatever her energy is doing…

How is things are. It’s February now and we can probably all agree that time is flying. Because we are having fun! So…I still have not renewed my lease. I responded to their email asking them to remove eddie And his information from the paperwork (and i told them why), and to send me a…

i’m operating on very little sleep after new year’s celebrations. Someone said it’s like I’m reliving my college days—late night drinking, staying up chatting, watching videos, laughing, tasting. Until the sun comes up. Thankfully i have no o-chem classes and roommates to worry about now. Just a job. This is what I went for. Thinking…

happy lunar new year’s eve. not sure if we’re supposed to be partying tonight and popping those popper things at midnight? or is everyone celebrating tomorrow. I asked my mom and she thought it was next week. i’m in the spirit though. where ever the east winds take me—the land of laughter and prosperity. snakes…