happy 11/11.
my WiFi has been down since the afternoon and it won’t be back until I receive new hardware. We’re talking days. I didn’t watch a single YouTube or a Netflix today. I Exercised, but not along to an app. I listened to Spotify through a Bluetooth speaker instead of my Alexas. I’m connected to a hotspot right now.
I had a lot of time to just…be with my thoughts. Lots of thinking And lots of talking to myself. I missed eddie a bunch. I saw a photo of him looking strong, big (plump?), and serious. I thought about all the things he wanted to do still—the movie, the music, the raving. Of course It’s sad he never got to do them; but my grief has always been selfish—always about me—I’m missing the creativity, the hustle, the evolution. It was enhancing. and of course all the love. It’s okay to want more. I still want to be the queen.
grateful for krs-one, veggiehammerr, no scrubs, Bobby tang, h2o2, insomnia, ugly feelings, avocados, busted technology, bad mood, apartment amenities, sadness, clueless, virbac, clicky mechanical keyboards, copy editing, life editing.
1:58 am. My alarm clock is on WiFi.
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