Author: streetmadonna

Pretty tired and not that much to report today. I’m all into probiotics again because my guts (the ones you hate and love) are on the fritz again from all the booze and late night funnin’. Do you get excited about kefir too? Thinking of the time I was hanging at the skate shop where…

i had a really good weekend. Not perfect, but close enough. I did pretty good in terms of busy vs blank calendar, socializing vs aloneness, and greens vs junk food. But these everyday battles weren’t as successful: work vs rest (I worked a bunch of hours on Sunday), booze vs water (i drank a lot…

It’s been a long week. And it ain’t over yet. Been staying busy with work. Been eating a lot of green stuff. Been watching baseball. Been shopping a bunch. Been leaving stuff around. grateful for Friday, fun plans, my coworkers, funny dogs, retainers, and rich friends. 2:04 am.

I’m tired and I have a sink full of dirty dishes. I injured my lower back somehow and couldn’t manage to do much today. I took 4 Advils. Thinking of all the times eddie swallowed a small bowl full of 8 Advils + an oxy + a morphine + his muscle relaxants. He endured so…

May 13. It’s a good day to throw 13 things away. nobody likes clutter yet there It is. Time to shut the brain off. mondays aren’t bad. I can be home alone now. Not completely alone. I am here with my fat. Besides work people, you’re the only person I talked to today. my new…

A fine Mother’s Day. I looked back on my camera roll because I couldn’t remember what eddie and i did for our moms last year. The photos made me sad; be a crocodile, don’t look back. This year I spent time with only my mom. during dinner she kept telling me to have a baby….

a mellow evening. To myself. I mostly did nothing. I exercised and watched ugly Betty. Is that show meant to make you cry? Ate cereal for dinner. Laundry. Returned a phone call—only let it ring twice lest they answered. Nothing major to report. I am doing well. I am going to watch spring baking championship….

I’ve been held captive lately, but tonight I was free to attend yena and Keith’s wedding. Yena is Eddie’s cousin, and At one point, any cousin of Eddie’s became a cousin of mine. Tonight could have been awkward though. I was seated at the family table right next to the bride’s parents. relatives who traveled…

i can’t believe how fast time is flying. April the cruelest month is nearly done. Lots to look forward to. Like retirement. i met a lady at the Hms bounty today. She said she goes wherever the winds take her. She was 70 and looked much younger. She said there used to be a bed…

8 months since Eddie’s passing. Yesterday I cried. Something happened and I was so disappointed in myself, I felt like I let him and his legacy down, and I wished I could turn back time. People say he wouldn’t want me to feel this way. But I can sense all the energies and I should…

Haven’t written in a while. Maybe that’s a good sign—writing here has always been therapeutic. Maybe I just don’t need to as much. Or maybe I’ve just been drinkin’ and funnin’ too much. Either way, I missed you. latest updates: Life is moving. I’m evolving. My body is changing. I got a haircut and rode…

so much has happened in the past few days. All good stuff. Hinds in San Diego was so fun. I brought gifts (necklaces) for Ana and Carlotta. They wore them during the show. I love them so. I drank a lot of tequila. We spent the following day in ocean beach. It was overcast yet…

mid-week vacay mode unlocked. Because it’s hinds week! Taking a little road trip on Wednesday. I happen to love long road trips (cross-country road trip so dreamy) and long flights. Do you get sad too when the destination is near? this will be a short and sweet one to San Diego. I will not be…

The weekend was packed. I feel like I experienced a year’s worth of stuff in the span of Friday through Sunday: Bustling social life, tumultuous dating life, beachy brunch life, neighborly night life. My life is beautiful and I enjoy every experience. It’s hinds week again! Just don’t look at me with those eyes… You…

This felt like a slow week but somehow it’s already Friday. I’m doing that thing again where I forget what month of the year we’re in. I thought it was going to be cinco de mayo tomorrow. The green beads and margaritas are messing me up. there is an episode of friends (the one with…

I deliberately abstained from evening caffeine and sipped old wine so that I would be able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. The reason is I napped so good this evening. But here we are. i stayed in two nights in a row. It used to be so hard to be home alone in…

Seems like a lot of people either aren’t working as much as i am or they are simply using their time much more efficiently than me. I feel like I don’t have time to do much besides work. But some people I know… They just hang and go shopping and play with their kids and…

i had dinner with loree. We worked together for over 20 years. I remember interviewing for the job when I was fresh out of college and starting grad school—she was the cool one in the office. Some bonds are so strong. We talked about the la fires (her house was spared), las Vegas (we’re both…

I might be right where I’m supposed to be. Every time i walk the blocks i feel love for my city and whoever walks with me. We walked to the bar to watch a neighbor’s band. I felt pretty lucky to be in that dumpy little dive on a Wednesday night. But The walk was…

Seven months since Eddie’s passing. I feel like I’ve done so much living these past few months. And because of everything, I’ve changed. I’m constantly changing. I was such a needy selfish mess. Still am, but now I get embarrassed or regret my neediness, selfishness, and messiness. I keep looking at my arms And hands…